Llamas with Hats Swap AU
by witchytheatregirl
Summary: Basically Llamas with Hats except the roles are switched. Paul is the murderous sociopath and Carl is the stable one. Chaos and hilarity ensues.


p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Paul, I'm home!"/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;"Carl had gotten back from his trip to the grocery store. He shut the front door and proceeded to go into the kitchen to put the groceries away. The entire day had been nothing short of ordinary. To tell the truth, it was actually pretty peaceful. It wasn't often he had days like that. Especially considering the fact he had to deal with Paul's usual antics every waking moment of his life./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s2" style="font-family: '.SFUIText-Italic'; font-style: italic; font-size: 17pt;"Wait a minute. Where's Paul?/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;"Carl froze. Once the question crossed his mind, he realized the house was a lot quieter than usual. Immediately thinking the worst, Carl instantly abandoned the groceries and went to search for his roommate. He started with the living room. Paul wasn't there. He checked the bathroom. Nope. He checked the bedroom and the basement. Carl checked every room in the house. After nearly three minutes of increasingly desperate searching, Carl still hadn't found Paul./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Paul! Where are you?" Carl shouted./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""I'm out here, Carl!"/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s2" style="font-family: '.SFUIText-Italic'; font-style: italic; font-size: 17pt;"Oh, thank God. /spanspan class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;"Carl sighed in relief as he exited through the back door. /spanspan class="s2" style="font-family: '.SFUIText-Italic'; font-style: italic; font-size: 17pt;"Maybe he's working on his garden, /spanspan class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;"he thought./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;"As Carl made his way through the backyard, he began to notice several things that were out of place. Gardening tools were scattered across the ground. Clumps of dirt and mud had been slung all over every surface imaginable. The fence had a large hole in it./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;"But most worrying of all, however, was the series of bloody hoof prints that led straight to Paul's garden./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;"Carl suddenly felt the strong urge to start running. Without a moment's hesitation, he raced to the side of the house, beginning to panic./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s2" style="font-family: '.SFUIText-Italic'; font-style: italic; font-size: 17pt;"What the hell has he done?! What could he possibly have- Oh no. Oh god, no./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;"When Carl reached the spot the hoof prints led to, he discovered that it was already too late. There, standing over a large pile of dirt, was Paul, covered in blood and holding a dirty shovel. Carl gawked at the sight in horror, his face frozen with a look of pure shock./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""PAAAAAAAAAUL!" The sound of Carl's voice rang loudly through the backyard./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Hi, Carl. How was work?" Paul asked innocently, a wide grin plastered across his face./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Paul! What did you do?"/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""I don't know what you're talking about."/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Come on, Paul! The backyard's a mess, there's a huge hole in the fence, and you're standing over a pile of dirt covered in blood. Don't even try to tell me nothing happened!"/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Oh, you mean all this," Paul replied, briefly surveying the mess, "I'm just in the middle of renovating the backyard."/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""No, Paul." Carl shook his head in denial./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""I was about to install an outdoor pool."/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""No."/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""I was organizing my gardening tools and I fell over."/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Really, Paul? Are you serious right now?" Carl prodded on in exasperation./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Alright, alright! You know our neighbor Pat?"/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Yeah, what about him?" Carl asked, hesitant and slightly afraid of what the answer might be./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Well, his dog broke through the fence and started digging up the begonias, so I chased it around the yard and beat it to death with a shovel. This pile of dirt is here because I decided to bury it."/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;"A moment of silence passes as Carl stares at Paul in horror./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Paaaaaul! That's awful! What are we going to do if he comes by asking where his dog is?" Carl cried./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Oh, he isn't going to notice the dog is gone anytime soon."/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""How could he possibly not notice, Paul?"/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Because I took care of him after I killed the dog. I knocked him out and I buried him alive."/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Paaaaaul! He didn't do anything to you!" Carl scolded, "Why would you ever do such a terrible thing?"/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Well, if you must know, I had an idea this morning while I was working on the yard. I've decided that I'll be making a corpse garden to bury the people I kill in. Luckily, the neighbor's dog just so happened to drop by at that moment."/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Oh my god, Paul! How could you think any of that was a good idea?"/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Well, I can't just throw everyone I kill in the basement, Carl. That takes up far too much space. And it's not like I'm always going to have the energy to climb up a ladder and dump a corpse down a random person's chimney every time I kill someone! That's far too tiring. Besides, with me burying my victims in the ground, the earth's soil will get the nutrients it needs."/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""I seriously can't believe you right now. Why do you do this to me? Do you have any idea how painful this feels right now?"/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Don't you ever think about how I feel, Carl? I worked hard on those begonias!"/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""That isn't the point, Paul! What you did was a complete overreaction!"/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Well, I'm sorry if me being creative with my work hurts you so badly, Carl." Paul replied sarcastically./span/p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""This isn't being creative, Paul! This is just sick."/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""If it makes you feel any better, Carl, I could try digging them back up. I don't think I buried them too deep."/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""No, Paul! That isn't going to work. It's already too late to do anything."/span/p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Fine. Would you at least like me to fix dinner?"/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""No, of course not! You're always trying to sneak human body parts into the food."/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Well, I guess that means I cut off Pat's fingers for nothing."/span/p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;"Carl instantly went quiet, shocked at Paul's response./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Paaaaaaul!"/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Oh, calm down! You have your hobbies, I have mine." Paul whined, pouting at his roommate./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""Killing people isn't a hobby, Paul!" Carl shouted, grinding his teeth a bit./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;"Paul tilted his head up slightly and closed his eyes. "Anything can be a hobby if you do it enough times." He said it with as much pride as ever./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;"Carl sighed, too tired to continue yelling at the llama standing in front of him. "You know what? I give up. I'm going back inside. The groceries haven't been put up yet. I'm not cleaning this mess up, by the way."/span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;"Carl turned away and went back into the house, slamming the door shut behind him./span/p  
p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; min-height: 20.3px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /p  
p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 17pt;""So, do I still get to eat the fingers, or not?"/span/p 


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